


Is Our Love Enough?

by iwearheelsnow



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Angst, Charity Barnum is a sweetheart, F/M, Period-Typical Racism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 18:41:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13440888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwearheelsnow/pseuds/iwearheelsnow
Summary: Anne and Phillip both knew being together would be hard. Sadly, sometimes, even their love doesn’t seem enough.





	Is Our Love Enough?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first fic ever and I want you all to know English is not my first language, so it's highly possible there are some mistakes in here :) 
> 
> Enjoy!

The whole circus was ecstatic when Anne and Phillip officially and proudly announced their relationship. Sure, everyone knew something was going on between the two - you had to be blind not to see it -, but them feeling confident and comfortable enough to confirm their status was nice.

Truth be told, them being comfortable wasn’t exactly hard because, inside the circus, they were all able to be themselves. They could hold hands, hug and even kiss without the continuous fear that someone would make a negative comment or shoot them a mean or, worst, horrified glare. Inside the circus, they could almost forget the world outside. The world that didn’t approve of them.

Even after deciding that they didn’t want to hide their bond anymore, there was still a little something inside them that screamed they could never live a normal life together. And that hurt, because it was true. They all knew it.

But that didn’t stop them from taking walks around the city, talking loudly and holding hands proudly. Despite the judgemental looks everyone gave them, they felt happy.

Yes, they felt happy. Both of them couldn’t help but smile every time the other one talked or did so much as look in their direction. They were in love, regardless of what the world said or did.

But sometimes, even their love for each other couldn’t block the murmurs.

***

They had been walking for awhile now, holding each other’s hand. The sky was a dark shade of grey, the sun nowhere to be seen. It was late November and big coats protected them from the cold wind. Phillip was telling Anne about the time he fell down a chair when he tried to grab a cookie jar his parents had hidden from him, when a group of girls passed by them, giggling while staring at them.

Their glares made Anne extremely uncomfortable and she couldn’t help but hear what they were saying.

“Is that Phillip Carlyle?”  
“Oh, that’s the freak show girl.”  
“Why is a Carlyle walking hand-in-hand with _that_?”  
“He sure downgraded a lot since last year.”

Hearing the same things over and over again since her childhood, Anne learned not to care about such ignorant comments. She learned to not care about the whisperers. She became used to them and their meanness. “How unoriginal of them”, she often thought. They always said the same things: her skin wasn’t the right color and that she was a circus freak. In short, that she was less than them. Their remarks almost didn’t affect her anymore. Almost.

The couple was about to open the circus’ doors when she heard a man say something she had never heard before. His words almost made her whimper.

“Do you think he ruined her yet?”

By the way Phillip tensed, she knew she wasn’t the only one who had heard it. His hand was grabbing hers so firmly, she could swear she heard her bones break.

“He’s not worth the trouble, Phillip”, Anne gently whispered in his ear.

“Punching him in the face would certainly be worth it”, he said, his words almost inaudible.

“You and I both know it wouldn’t help our case in any way.”

“Oh, trust me, I know”, he wanted to say to her. Sadly, he realized long ago that, no matter how hard they would try, society would never approve of them. They would never let them be. They would always try to tear them apart. But Phillip was an optimist and he liked to pretend they were stronger than all the white noise.

Anne, however, in no way a pessimist, was still far more realistic. Everyone had told her – especially her brother – and she had known since the first time she had laid eyes on Phillip, that a love story between them would be tough, almost impossible. She, sometimes, also caught herself believing they could ignore the stares and cruelty of the world.

Because, inside the circus, none of that pettiness existed. Inside the circus, she truly felt at home. For years and years, she felt like an outsider, an outcast, _less than human_. Even these days, she would still wake up in the middle of the night, in tears, because of her nightmares. The only difference was that, before, it was W.D who comforted her. Now, it was Phillip. And it was because of such intimate moments that she caught herself believing they could last.

But then again, when things like what just took place happened, reality came rushing back. The world was filled with hatred. The world didn’t like different, they didn’t like unique.

***

When they finally were inside the building, Phillip released Anne’s hand – and, for once, she was glad he did because it hurt so much, considering how hard he was holding it. He let out a short sigh and she stared at him, waited for him to say something. He didn’t. He didn’t even look at her. He turned on his heels and went directly to his office, and she watched him walk away.

Anne wasn’t one to cry. She had gone through so many things, that she was now a master at hiding her emotions, at concealing everything. The circus performers all thought she was an incredibly strong woman. Every time Lettie would tell her how beautiful or talented she was, a voice inside her head whispered: “If only they knew the truth”. Of course, she couldn’t deny she had talent – she was hard-working and incredibly smart -, but she also considered herself weak, fragile and, sometimes, worthless. Sometimes, she believed the whispers that surrounded her every time she would step outside the circus’ safe walls.

“Anne, is everything alright?”

Startled, Anne looked up to see Charity Barnum staring at her.

“Um, yes, I’m fine”, she softly answered.

“I never thought I would say that, but you’re an even worse liar than I”, Charity laughed.

At her words, Anne felt a smile appear on her face. Charity was right, she never was a good liar.

“You aren’t obligated to talk to me about it, but if you ever feel the need to, know that I am here for you”, Barnum’s wife offered.

Even if Anne and Charity weren’t as close as Phineas and Phillip, the young trapeze artist truly appreciated the blonde woman’s presence around the circus. Charity was a literal ray of sunshine, always smiling and laughing. Anne wished she had Charity’s personality; she didn’t even need to try. She was so warm, welcoming, kind. Charity always gave everything she had, without receiving anything in return, but she didn’t seem to mind. She was always dancing with her two daughters, Caroline and Helen, and telling stories about her early years with Phineas. Everyone loved her and she loved everyone.

That’s exactly why Anne was so amazed by Charity Hallett Barnum. She had lived her childhood among rich people, always had everything she could dream of, but still chose to leave everything behind to be with a tailor’s boy. Even with the constant whispers around her, she remained true to herself and didn’t look back once. How could she be so strong?

Charity was looking at Anne with a sympathetic smile, almost as if she was able to read her thoughts. The blonde was about to leave when Anne heard herself blurt out:

“How do you do it?”

“How do I do what?”

“You’re so bright. So lovely. Even after everything that happened in your life, everything that _still_ happens in your life, you never seem upset. How do you do it?”

Charity’s smile softened even more. She felt the young woman’s pain. She knew that pain all too well.

“Anne, darling, that’s because I have a lot of practice. I spent my whole life trying to block the noise. With time, you’ll be able to do it too.”

  
“I don’t think I’ll be able to endure it that long. You’re so much stronger than I am.”

“Oh, Anne, don’t tell me you truly believe what you are saying. You’re one of the strongest people I know. At your age, I was still hiding behind my parents and didn’t speak up until they give me the right to. You, you know who you are and you don’t care what anyone says about you.”

“I wish that was true”, Anne said with tears in her eyes. “I try to be strong, but it’s so hard. It’s so hard, Charity, so, _so_ hard.”

Just as a tear rolled down her cheek, Anne felt the older woman hug her.

“You don’t need the whole world to love you, just a few good people”, Charity calmly said into Anne’s ear.

And, somehow, those few words made Anne realize so many things. She didn’t need the whole world to approved of Phillip and her, just a few good people – the circus. She had all of that. She didn’t need more. No matter what the world had to say about them didn’t matter. She wouldn’t let words break them apart. Suddenly feeling a lot more confident than a few seconds ago, Anne let go of Charity and looked at her with so much gratitude in her eyes.

“Thank you, Charity. You don’t know how much your presence and attention mean to me.”

“I’m glad I could help you, Anne, even if all I said was the truth”, the blonde woman winked at her.

Then, Charity peacefully walked away and Anne knew what she had to do. She knew that what the man of the street had said earlier had hurt Phillip– it had hurt them both. His disgusting remark made them realize that everyone outside believed Anne was only one of Phillip’s projects. That he only was with her for sex – which she, maybe at one point also believed, but now knew wasn’t true. Phillip had never rushed her, never made her do something she didn’t want to do. He treated her with infinite respect and that was everything she ever wished for in a partner in life. Even when their heads were filled with lust, he always made sure she wanted it too and still treated her as his equal.

  
Just thinking about those sensual and romantic nights made Anne blush. She never thought she would experience such passion with someone. Every night spent by Phillip’s side was a dream she never wanted to end.

It’s with these thoughts in head that Anne went to Phillip’s office. They needed to talk and set this straight. She was about to knock on his door – he only closed it when he was in a bad mood- when he suddenly opened it and both of them almost screamed in surprise. Even after being both scared to death, no one made a sound, they only looked into each other’s eyes. Anne was about to talk when Phillip opened his mouth.

“Look, Anne, I’m sorry about earlier. I wasn’t mad at you, but at him. At the world. It’s so infuriating, we can’t even go outside without people judging. I love you with all my heart and I know it’s hard for you too, probably even harder than what it is for me, but I can’t help it. Every time someone says a bad thing about you, about _us_ , it makes me want to murder someone.”

“Please don’t murder anyone”, she said. They both giggled. “It’s irritating, you’re right, but we can’t do anything about it. That’s how the world is, how it always has been. The only thing we can do is ignore it and prove them wrong. Prove them that we are stronger than what they think we are.”

Anne’s maturity always amazed Phillip. He was the kind of guy who wouldn’t think before doing something, while she was the type of person to think every word and action through. He had noticed that the very first time he met her, the way she spoke to him was so careful, so meticulous. He knew there was a lot of anger and energy inside of her too, but she always managed to hide it. She was so strong. He knew she didn’t believe it, but he did.

“You, Miss Wheeler, always astonish me.”

“Of course I do”, she said with a smile. He loved her smile. “You know, what the man said earlier, I don’t believe it. I know you’re not using me.”

Phillip looked relieved, but also had a little something else in his eyes. Sorrow. “I can’t believe someone would think that. I can’t even express how much I love you, so to hear someone who doesn’t even know us claim such ugly things hurt me.”

“It hurts me too, darling. I would love for the whole world to realize how much I love you, but it won’t happen. They’ll always be small-minded people. They’ll stay ignorant. And we’ll forever be happier than them.”

Phillip couldn’t help but smile at her words. He took her right hand between his and kissed it. He knew she loved when he did that. Then, he circled his arms around her waist and hugged her tight. As she brought her arms around his neck, he buried his head in her hair and let out a delighted sigh.

“Anne Wheeler, I hope you always remember that you are my light", he whispered sweetly.

And, in this moment, their love was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed, and that there weren't a lot of mistakes :) You can leave a kudos or a comment and you can also send me fic requests on my tumblr @i-wear-heels-now.


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